


HamTrash

by Thedorktah



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: F/F, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 02:19:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7489509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thedorktah/pseuds/Thedorktah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Hamilton group have a group chat to mostly drag each other and use outdated unironic memes but it is mostly the gang throwing shade at each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome To Hell

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Hamsquad™](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6133601) by [rescuemechinboyandshowmethestars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rescuemechinboyandshowmethestars/pseuds/rescuemechinboyandshowmethestars). 



> Based on the outstanding Hamsquad™ Hamilton group chat: seriously please go and check that out it is amazing. Actually in love with that fic and it inspired me to write this fic. So most of the things put on here are also based on real life events or real arguments me and my trashy friends have in our group chat. there is some references taken from Hamsquad and full credit goes not to me but to the author of Hamsquad. Please bear with me I have no idea how to use this site...mistakes are bound to happen so formatting may also be weird af. Anyway, enjoy. Screen names for the squad are as follows;  
> Hamilton: WriteMyWayOut  
> Peggy: AndPeggy  
> Eliza: WatchYouBurn  
> Angelica: NeverSatisfied  
> KingGeorge: LadOnTour  
> Laurens: TurtleBoiWaddup  
> Hercules: GreekGod  
> Lafayette: LaffOutLoud  
> George Washington: WashingDone  
> Burr: WaitForIt

_You have entered the group Hamshare™_

_WriteMyWayOut added WatchYouBurn, NeverSatisfied, AndPEGGY, TurtleBoiWaddup, LadOnTour, GreekGod and LaffOutLoud_

**WriteMyWayOut:** Heyo what’s up nerds!!? Much needed GC to keep in contact? Or to bug each other?... you decide

 **AndPEGGY:** AYO HAMSQUARED WHADDUP  <3

 **WriteMyWayOut:** YES PEGLEG!  <3

 **WatchYouBurn:** Hey everyone!

 **NeverSatisfied:** Hey y’all! About time we made a group chat xo

 **GreekGod:** yo!

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** heyyyyyyyy squad! xx

 **LaffOutLoud:** Bonjour!

_WriteMyWayOut added WaitForIt_

 

 **WaitForIt:** Thanks for including me Hamilton but I’m not sure I fit in here

 **WriteMyWayOut:** Nonsense Burr you’re being paranoid as always

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** Well shit it’s the prodigy himself…aaron burr

 **GreekGod:** Sir!

 **WriteMyWayOut:** OMG speaking of sir...sorry/ur welcome Laf….

 **WatchYouBurn:** this sounds bad….

 **NeverSatisfied:** I sense a scheme..

 **LaffOutLoud:**???????

 **AndPEGGY:** please be doing what I think ur doing hamsquared

_WriteMyWayOut added WashingDone_

 

 **GreekGod:** omg yes.

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** ayyyy time to sin™

 **WaitForIt:** Please go to church.

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** I tried that once. Almost burnt to death before I even got through the front doors

 **WriteMyWayOut:** same

 **GreekGod:** Same

 **AndPeggy:** Same

 **WatchYouBurn:** same

 **NeverSatisfied:** same

 **LadOnTour:** same here too ngl

 **WashingDone:** Alexander why am I in this chat? Aren’t you supposed to be working?

 **AndPEGGY:** G WASHINGTON MY MAIN MAN  <3

 **WatchYouBurn:** hello mr Washington sir!

 **NeverSatisfied:** Peggy don’t address mr Washington like that!

 **WriteMyWayOut:** Sir you sent me home an hour ago

 **WashingDone:** Oh so I did, hello Peggy. Honestly, G Washington is fine

 **AndPEGGY:** I can call you Georgie if you want?

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** PEGGY NO

 **GreekGod:** OMG

 **WashingDone:** G Washington is just fine thank you peggy.

 **WatchYouBurn:** damn it Peggy.

 **LaffOutLoud:** omg! Sir Washington. Hello sir.

 **GreekGod:** Laf no..

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** oh here we go #Thursty ammirite?

 **WatchYouBurn:** Says u

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** rooooode. Touche tho, it tru.

 **NeverSatisfied:** HOWLING OMG.

 **WriteMyWayOut:** LAF STAY AWAY FROM MY BOSS!!!

 **LaffOutLoud:** ALL I SAID WAS HELLO

 **AndPEGGY:** We all know that not all you’d like to say…#Daddy ammirite?

 **WashingDone:** ….?

Have I missed something here?

 **LaffOutLoud:** PEGGY STAY IN UR LANE

 **NeverSatisfied:** YES OMG

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** #DaddyGayte

 **AndPEGGY:** ^^

 **NeverSatisfied:** ^^

 **GreekGod:** ^^

 **WatchYouBurn:** ^^

 **LadOnTour:** ^^

 **WriteMyWayOut:** ^^

 **WaitForIt:** …what’s going on right now? I’m confused?

 **LaffOutLoud:** NOTHING. NOTHING IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW. DADDYGAYTE IS NOT A THING. NOPE. I HATE YOU ALL. I DO NOT THINK MR WASHINGTON IS DADDY MATERIAL NOR I DO NOT WANT TO CALL HIME DADDY NOPE.

 **WashingDone:** Son, you have some issues. Alexander, please notify me next time you wish to add me to a group chat with people who have a Daddy Kink. That way I can be prepared. #Dragged

 **AndPEGGY:** OMG

 **WriteMyWayOut:** OH MY GOD SIR.

 **WatchYouBurn:** HOWLING.

 **GreekGod:** JFC DRAGGED BY WASHINGTON. #BLESSED

 **NeverSatisfied:** #Honoured

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** #soBlessed senpai noticed us

 **LadOnTour:** Looks like daddy may be mad at u Laf….

 **LaffOutLoud:** G2G G2G G2G G2G

_LaffOutLoud has left the group chat_

**WaitForIt:** What just happened?

 **AndPeggy:** Sin. Sin just happened my child. Beautiful, unholy sin.

 **WashingDone:** I don’t think I want to be part of this sin. y'all need Jesus. washingDONE out. peace.

_WashingDone has left the group chat_

 

 **AndPeggy:** Welp, they don’t call him a founding father for nothing ammirite? #Daddy

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** OMG

 **NeverSatisfied:** PEGGY IM HOWLING

 **WatchYouBurn:** YODELLING

 **GreekGod:** I AM DEAD.

 **LadOnTour:** best peggy line 10/10 would recommend

 **WriteMyWayOut:** Welcome To hell children. Enjoy ur stay.


	2. The Babygate incident?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter in which I am kinkshaming everyone in this godforsaken chat. Hell, I’m even kinkshaming myself just for writing it. Also just saying…#BabyGayte is based on real events that happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend will hate me forever for revealing this incident to the world but yolo ammirite? The world needs to know what happened. Screen names below;  
> Hamilton: WriteMyWayOut  
> Peggy: AndPeggy  
> Eliza: WatchYouBurn  
> Angelica: NeverSatisfied  
> KingGeorge: LadOnTour  
> Laurens: TurtleBoiWaddup  
> Hercules: GreekGod  
> Lafayette: LaffOutLoud

_You have entered the group Hamshare™_

_WriteMyWayOut added LaffOutLoud to the group_

**LadOnTour:** I regretti the spaghetti. Pls end my life rn.

**WatchYouBurn:**???

**NeverSatisfied:** what’s happened?

**LaffOutLoud:** What’s up buttercup??

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** Everything okay George?

**GreekGod:**?

**WriteMyWayOut:** SO FUN STORY YOU GUYS

**LadOnTour:** ALEXANDER DON’T YOU DARE.

I MEAN IT

I STG

**WriteMyWayOut:** SO DEAR OLD GEORGE HERE ROYALY DONE GOOFED. YOU SEE

**LadOnTour:** DON’T.

**WriteMyWayOut:** THEY GOT DRUNK ALONE LAST NIGHT

**LadOnTour:** ALEX STOP I’M BEGGING YOU.

**WriteMyWayOut:** AND SIGNED UP FOR A SUGAR DADDY WEBSITE. IM HOWLING. #RIPME THEY LITERALLY SIGNED UP TO MEET SUGGAR DADDIES.

**LadOnTour:** I TOLD U THAT IN CONFIDENCE U FUCKER.

**WatchYouBurn:** ….OH. MY. GOD. GEORGE!

**NeverSatisfied:** YODELLING OMFG OMFG

**GreekGod:** I AM KINKSHAMING

**LadOnTour:** GUYS STOP. I WAS DRUNK AND LONELY OKAY??? I JUST WANTED SOMEONE WHO WOULD TREAT ME LIKE ROYALTY AND FOR ONCE NOT HAVE TO PAY A PENNY OR DOLLAR.

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** SCREAMING OMFG

**LaffOutLoud:** 10/10 BEST NEWS EVER RT IF U AGREE

**GreekGod:** RT

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** RT

**WriteMyWayOut:** RT

**NeverSatisfied:** RT

**WatchYouBurn:** RT

**WriteMyWayOut:** WAIT WHERE’S PEGGY??? SHE NEEDS TO HEAR THIS!!

**NeverSatisfied:** OMG SHE SAID SHE WAS TAKING A NAP

**LadOnTour:** please….don’t tell peggy…she’s my best friend…..I’ll get roasted till the grave

**WriteMyWayOut:** PEGGY

**GreekGod:** PEGGY

**LaffOutLoud:** PEGGY

**WatchYouBurn:** PEGGY

**LadOnTour:** No you guys please….

**NeverSatisfied:** PEGGY

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** PEGGY

**WriteMyWayOut** PEGLEG WE NEED YOU

**LadOnTour:** You guys don’t understand!

**NeverSatisfied:** PEGSTER

**GreekGod:** P

**LaffOutLoud:** E

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** G

**WatchYouBurn:** G

**WriteMyWayOut:** Y

**NeverSatisfied:** Hold on I got this guys

BEYONCES CAN’T SING FOR SHIT.

**AndPEGGY:** WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY??????

**LadOnTour:** Peggy for the love of god please ignore this whole chat and go back to sleep. Pls.

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** PEGGY READ UP THE CHAT

**GreekGod:** DO IT U WONT REGRET IT

**AndPEGGY:** Okayyyy???

**LaffOutLoud:** PEGGY PLS

**WriteMyWayOut:** PEGLEG MY FRIEND. UR TIME HAS COME

**AndPEGGY:** why? Hold on hamsquared m8. I’m reading up.

**WatchYouBurn:** DEAREST SISTER PLS MAKE US PROUD

**LadOnTour:** PEGGY DONT

**AndPEGGY:** 4 that reaction alone I have 2 now bff  <3

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** I can’t wait for this….

**GreekGod: *** Patiently waits*

**LaffOutLoud:** Time 4 popcorn

**LadOnTour:** oh god…..I hate you all so much.

**NeverSatisfied:** This will be legendary

**WatchYouBurn:** This will be historic

**WriteMyWayOut:** mark ur calendars everyone. The day George dies.

**LadOnTour:** #RIPme

**AndPEGGY:** …………………

YOU. SIGNED. UP. TO. GET. A. SUGAR DADDY.

YOU.

DADDY.

LOVING.

MEME.

FUCK.

I AM HOWLING. TELL ME YOU DIDN’T ACTUALLY THO????

  **LadOnTour:** ………

**AndPEGGY:** YOU DID?? THIS IS THE BEST NEWS EVER. OMG

OMG

OMG GUYS JUST REALISED SOMETHING

LadOnTour: ?

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** what?

**WriteMyWayOut:**?

**LaffOutLoud:**?

**GreekGod:**?

**WatchYouBurn:** oh boy…

**NeverSatisfied:** this should be golden…..

**AndPEGGY:** IF GEORGIE HERE IS AFTER A SUGAR DADDY..DOES THAT MAKE HIM A SUGAR BABY??????

**LadOnTour:** NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** YES

**WriteMyWayOut:** I JUST SNORTED OUTLOUD AT WORK

**LaffOutLoud:** YODELLING PEGGY OMG

**NeverSatisfied:** NOT DISSAPOINTED OMG

**WatchYouBurn:** HOWLING!!!!!!

**LadOnTour:** PEGGY NO.

**WriteMyWayOut:** PEGGY YES.

**AndPEGGY:** OMFG FORGET DADDYGAYTE ITS ALL ABOUT BABY GEORGIE BABY GATE

SORRY #BABYGAYTE

THE 15TH OF EVERYMOTH IS HEREBY DECLARED BABYGAYTE DAY RT IF U AGREE

PARTIES SHALL BE HAD.

**NeverSatisfied:** RT

**GreekGod:** RT

**WatchYouBurn:** RT

**LaffOutLoud: RT**

**LadOnTour:** DELETE. NOW.

**WriteMyWayOut:** RT

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** RT, FAVE.

**LadOnTour:** NO G2G G2G

_LadOnTour has left the group chat_

**WatchYouBurn:** #Babygayte forever. Never let this die

**AndPEGGY:** I WANT A T-SHIRT WITH ‘I SURVIVED BABYGAYTE 2K16’ ON IT

**WriteMyWayOut:** OMG WE SHOULD ALL GET ONE

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** Surprise him with it.

**NeverSatisfied:** LETS DO THIS

**GreekGod:** YES

**LaffOutLoud:** I KNOW A PLACE TO PRINT SHIRTS CHEAP

**WatchYouBurn:** WEAR THEM FOR THE 15TH NEXT MONTH. BRING SUGARY TREATS. HAVE A HUGE PARTY WITH BANNERS AND PARTY HATS.

**AndPEGGY:** YES!!!! HE CAN NEVER BE ALLOWED TO LIVE THIS DOWN EVER!!!!!!!!!!

**WriteMyWayOut:** #NeverForgetBabyGayte2k16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus we fall deeper into this rabbit hole, falling further into this black abyss of Sin and horror. Mark your diaries everyone, from now on the 15th of every month is Babygayte day! bring party hats and sugary treats and we will all have a good time sinning together. till then: come bug me on my tumblr Thedorktah@tumblr.com  
> Next up: 'The Drag Of The Centaury™ '


	3. The Drag Of The Century™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter in which no chill was ever had and Peggy and Ham have the biggest drag war in the history of drags. More devastating than the hurricane that blew Hamilton into writing his first refrain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare yourselves kids. It’s about to get messy. This is a very long chapter.Just in case you forgot here’s the screen name list;  
> Hamilton: WriteMyWayOut  
> Peggy: AndPeggy  
> Eliza: WatchYouBurn  
> Angelica: NeverSatisfied  
> KingGeorge: LadOnTour  
> Laurens: TurtleBoiWaddup  
> Hercules: GreekGod  
> Lafayette: LaffOutLoud  
> George Washington: WashingDone  
> Burr: WaitForIt

_You have entered the group HamShare_ _™_

_AndPeggy added LadOnTour, WashingDone and WaitForIt_

**AndPEGGY:** Anyone wanna hangout? I’m bored, lonely and need attention. Lets go get brunch

**WatchYouBurn:**    Sure!

**NeverSatisfied:**   Always up 4 brunch

**GreekGod:**   I’m in!

**LaffOutLoud:** and meeeee

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** 10000000%  yes

**WriteMyWayOut:** so I see nothing has changed there peg and by ‘lets get brunch’ you mean please buy me food bc I cant.

**LadOnTour:** I’ll pay! I don’t mind

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** Don’t mind Alex he’s a grump today. Hasn’t had his usual 3 cups of coffee yet plus Jefferson dragged him so hard in the monthly office rap battle

**AndPeggy:** What do you mean by that anyway ham?????

**WriteMyWayOut:** I mean stop relying on us to be your bank peg. I would say get a job but we all know that won’t happen bc you prefer to scrounge off your family and friends. Get a grip.

**AndPEGGY:** WOW. OKAY. STAY IN UR LANE ALEXANDER HAMILTON, SOMEONE IS CLEARLY ON HIS PERIOD.

**WriteMyWayOut:** I'M SWERVING OUT OF THIS LANE, MAKING RED COATS SWERVE OUT OF MY WAY

**AndPEGGY:** WELL COME ON HAMILTON LETS SWERVE BACK IN FORMATION

**WriteMyWayOut:**  I'LL SWERVE BACK INTO THIS STORY THAT YOU'RE HARDLY IN U ACTUAL MESS

**NeverSatisfied:**   HAMILTON NO. PEGGY, NO PLS DO NOT REACT!

_TurtleBoiWaddup has changed the chat name to Hamshade™_

**LadOnTour:** oh no....

**NeverSatisfied:** John no!

**WatchYouBurn:** oh here we go.................

**LaffOutLoud:** This will be good.....

**GreekGod:** place ur bets and get ur popcorn ready

**AndPEGGY:** YOU KNOW WHAT U MEME FUCK??!! ATLEAST I DONT HAVE AN ACTUAL DADDY KINK U FUCKING WARM DISASTER

**WriteMyWayOut:**  I'M SORRY, YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT /ME/ HAVING A DADDY KINK WHEN YOU'RE ON A GROUP CHAT WHERE IM PRETTY SURE U FIST MENTIONED ‘DADDY’? COME AT ME YOU ROOM TEMPERATURE CALAMITY

**WatchYouBurn:**  HOWLING OMG

TAG URSELF IM ROOM TEMPERATURE CALAMITY

**NeverSatisfied:**  Don’t encourage this, you don’t know what you’ve done…...

**LaffOutLoud:** IM MEME FUCK

**GreekGod:**  IM WARM DISASTER

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** IM ACTUAL MESS

**WaitForIt:** I’m confused

**AndPEGGY:**  NOT HELPING U MEMEING IDIOTS

**LadOnTour:** Guys what do we say?

**WriteMyWayOut:**   Peggy has a daddy kink?

**LaffOutLoud:** HOWLING OMFG

**AndPEGGY:** MATE AT LEAST I DONT HAVE A DADDY KINK/TRY TO FUCK MY SISTER IN LAW THAT ONE TIME AND AM IN LOVE WITH A GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE MY SON.

ALL THREE BIG SINS

HAVE FUN IN HELL

**WatchYouBurn:**  MARGARITA SCHUYLER YOU STAY IN UR LANE

**NeverSatisfied:**   PEGGY WTF THE FUCK

**LadOnTour:** Guys stop u have so much in common like u both have a daddy kink

**AndPEGGY:** YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE ONE THING TO SAY TO U GEORGE [#BABYGAYTE](https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/babygayte?hc_location=ufi)

**WriteMyWayOut:**  FUCK U PEGGY THAT IS TOO FAR. SPEAKING OF LOOK ALIKES HOWS MARIA?

ALSO AYYYY [#BABYGAYTE](https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/babygayte?hc_location=ufi)

**LadOnTour:** g2g g2g g2g why must u drag me into this. Go bk to dragging each other pls and thanx

**AndPEGGY:** YOU WOULD KNOW, U FUCKING CHEATING DICK. WRITE YOUR WAY OUT OF FUCKING YOUR SON LOOKALIKE HAMILTON.

AND I, JUST SCORED 9!!! YOU CAN TRY AND DRAG HARD BUT TRY AND BEAT MINE

**WashingDone:** what is going on here?

**WaitForIt:**  I’m not sure you want to know sir

**NeverSatisfied:**    I WILL BEAT U DOWN PEGGY WTF THE FUCK DO NOT BRING PHILLIP INTO THIS

**WatchYouBurn:** PEGGY WATCH UR MOUTH U TANTRUMING CHILD. LEAVE MY SON OUT OF THIS PETTY DRAGGING.

**WriteMyWayOut:**   HE IS NOT MY SON THOUGH, YOU RED LIPPED HOMEWRECKER, HOW DOES IT FEEL KNOWING UR LOOKALIKE WAS FUCKING YOUR SISTER'S HUSBAND? DID YOU FORGET YOUR SISTER? HAVE YOU AN OUNCE OF REGRET? YOU ACCUMULATE BANTS, YOU ACCUMULATE RHYMES BUT IN HER TIME OF NEED YOU FORGET

**WatchYouBurn:** I thought we agreed to never mention HER again Hamilton….

**WatchYouBurn:** ...............

**NeverSatisfied:**  …oh shit

**LaffOutLoud:**  shiiiiitt

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** I thought we agreed too…………

**GreekGod:** fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck u dragged urself again Ham.

**AndPEGGY:**  LISTEN HERE YOU DUMPSTER JUICE ASS SISTER/SON LOOKALIKE/DADDY FUCKER. WHEN PEOPLE SAY KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY THEY DON'T MEAN YOUR DICK..AND HEY I DONT BLAME YOU BECAUSE LORD KNOWS NO ONE CAN SAY NO TO THIS. BUT BOY, AM I GLAD IT WAS NOT ME THOUGH YOU ACTUAL SEWAGE RAT. OH ONE MORE THING, HOW IS YOUR DADDY...AND MOTHER...OH...WAIT.

**LadOnTour:** PEGG!!

**NeverSatisfied:**  PEGGY NO!!! TOO FAR

**WatchYouBurn:** PEGGY STOP OR I STG I WILL MAKE U STOP.

**WriteMyWayOut:**  I'M SORRY, DO I DETECT A HINT OF JEALOUSY? YOU WOULD HAVE TO CREATE A WHOLE NEW PERSONA JUST TO GET A PIECE OF THIS ARSE, THEY DON'T CALL ME TOMCAT FOR NOTHING. WHAT DO THEY CALL YOU? NOTHING? BECAUSE YOU DO NOT MATTER AND NEVER WILL AND THIS DRAGGING IS JUST YOU TRYING TO ASSERT YOURSELF. LIKE U DO EVERYTIME U SCREAM UR NAME.

DIDN'T WORK THOUGH DID IT? WHO TELLS YOUR STORY BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS U

**AndPEGGY:**  ATLEAST I DONT HAVE TO DO RESEARCH TO THINK UP A MEDIOCRE DRAG. IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE HAMILTON? BC LETS FACE IT YOU MAY BE A FOUNDING FATHER (FOUNDING DADDY #NeverForget) BUT YOU'RE NOW ONLY KNOWN BC OF SOMEONE ELSE. YOU'RE EITHER KNOWN AS THE GUY ON THE TEN DOLLAR OR THE DADDY TO THURSTY ASS THEATRE LOVING VIRGINS WHO HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM FOR SHIPPING MEN WHO FOUNDED AMERICA AND WRITE SMUT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN DEAD FOR ABOUT AS LONG OF TIME AS IT TAKES YOU TO 'DRAG'

**LaffOutLoud:**  Burnt to a crisp™

**GreekGod:**  and on that day no chill was had

**LadOnTour:** I give up.

**WatchYouBurn:**  I THINK U JUST KILLED HIM.

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** ITS TRU HE JUST LEFT THE ROOM. IDK WHERE HES GOING.

**WriteMyWayOut:**  I'M SORRY, I LEFT TO CALL 0800-DID-I-ASK? I HAVE BIOGRAPHIES UPON BIOGRAPHIES WRITTEN ABOUT ME, WHAT DO YOU HAVE? A WIKI PAGE. THERE'S REASON WHY I DIDN'T NAME ONE OF MY CHILDREN AFTER YOU, YOU INSIGNIFICATE BLEMISH ON MY STORY! ELIZA DIDN'T CARE ENOUGH TO RELY ON THE HOMEWRECKING WOMAN YOU ARE AND NEITHER DOES HISTORY

**WashingDone:**  would you both please kindly stop arguing. This is upsetting

**WaitForIt:**  it’s a mess, someone please tear these two apart.

_WaitForIt has left the group chat_

**AndPEGGY:**  WELL WHY WOULD I EVEN WANT TO BE REMOTLEY ASSOSIATED WITH YOU? A SCOUNDREL AND A TERRIBLE FATHER. YOU TRYING TO TAKE A SHOT AT ME IS MORE PATHETIC THAN PHILLIPS ATTEMPT AT A GUN FIGHT. I'D MAKE A JOKE ABOUT HIM THROWING AWAY HIS SHOT BUT WE ALL KNOW WHO REALLY LED HIM DOWN THAT PATH TO AN EARLY GRAVE AND IT CERTAINLY WASNT ME. DONT GET AHEAD OF YOURSELF NOW HAMILTON TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND COUNT TO 7

THEN AGAIN PHILLIP COULDNT EVEN GET TO 7

**WatchYouBurn:**  PEGGY THAT IS IT. STOP. I STG DO NOT. TOO FAR THAT IS NOT COOL

_WatchYouBurn removed AndPeggy from the group_

**NeverSatisfied:**  OH SHIT PEGGY NO

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** PEGGY!!!

**LadOnTour:**   !!!!!!!! NO

**GreekGod:**  PEGGY NO

**LaffOutLoud:**  TOO FAR PEGGY SHIT

_WriteMyWayOut added AndPEGGY to the group_

**WriteMyWayOut:**  NOT DONE WITH U YET.

**AndPEGGY:**   …..

**WriteMyWayOut:**  An open letter to the missing, insignificant, anticharasmatic, national embarrassment known as Margarita ‘peggy’ Schuyler. The girl's irrational, she claims that I'm fucking my son and sister in some vast daddygayte meme? Bitch please. You had to work to get this arse. You're not on my page, you never show up to stage, give my regards to Elizabeth next time you write about my bed habits. At least I'm honest in this dabbing. That line is behind me, I crossed it again while your ego lost itself again. Aww such a hard life gotta run to john reynolds to try and get near this dick again. Let me ask you a question, who sits at your sister's side when she needs a ear to listen to while I get lit? They didn't ask you back in '72 and they haven't thought of you since. You're a nuscience, with no sense, you died in irrelivence. Go ahead you can call me a terrible dad, tryin' to make me mad, you can't get any new memes and that's just sad. Say hi to your husband as he's the only one who cares, maybe he will confirm I don't care about your shade when it's just a cocktail umbrella's worth and I'm lying in the sun.

  
SIT DOWN PEGGY, YOU INSIGNIFICANT BROTHER IN LAW FUCKER

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** 911? Yes, I just witnessed a murder

**NeverSatisfied:**  THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR

**LaffOutLoud:** DEAD. OMFG. HOWLING. HAM U R MY GOD THANK U. SORRY PEGGY

**GreekGod:** DRAGGED TO HELL AND BK

**WatchYouBurn:** I HAVE NO WORDS.

**LadOnTour:** And the winner is HAMILTON!

**WashingDone:** Alexander……what have you done?

_AndPEGGY  has left the group chat_

**WriteMyWayOut:**  My work here is done.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh dear sister peggy. you poor poor soul. my heart breaks for you...  
>  IMPORTANT THING TO NOTE: full credit for that massive Hamilton paragraph long drag goes to my good trash friend Ellie/Dan. They came up with that perfect drag whilst we were having a irl Peggy vs Ham argument –and most of this chapter includes actual drags from that argument-bc we are complete Hamilton trash. Not sorry at all. Next up: 'Hi, I’m The Alpha Gay'


	4. Hi, I'm The Alpha Gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter in which everything was gay and nothing hurt at all. Except maybe Peggy's pride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also this monstrosity of a story Peggy tells was also 1000% true and happened to me not too long ago. I am an ashamed smol gay and I definitely regretti the spaghetti.  
> Screen names are here:  
> Hamilton: WriteMyWayOut  
> Peggy: AndPEGGY  
> Eliza: WatchYouBurn  
> Angelica: NeverSatisfied  
> KingGeorge: LadOnTour  
> Laurens: TurtleBoiWaddup  
> Hercules: GreekGod  
> Lafayette: LaffOutLoud  
> Maria: SayNoToThis

_You have entered the group Schuyler Squared_

**AndPEGGY:** GUYS ADD ME BACK TO THE MAIN GROUP I HAVE A STORY TO SHARE.

 **WatchYouBurn:** Oh so you want to be part of it again?

 **AndPEGGY:** I wanna be part of the narrative yes ;)

 **NeverSatisfied:** after two weeks of sulking away NOW you want back in? what’s so important

 **AndPEGGY:** OK FIRSTLY, I WASN’T SULKING I WAS RECOVERING FROM BEING BURNT TO A CRISP. STILL NOT RECOVERED. STILL SATLY AT HAM, BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT! THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW.

 **WatchYouBurn:** Okay??

 **AndPEGGY:** JUST ADD ME. TRUST ME OKAY??

 **NeverSatisfied:** Well okay…ONLY if your nice. Just remember your mantra okay?

 **AndPEGGY:** OKAY DEAL! OKAY OKAY. LETS GO

_You have entered the group Hamshade™_

_NeverSatisfied added AndPEGGY to the group_

**LadOnTour:** PEGGY  <3

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** Our prodigal son returns

 **LaffOutLoud:** we’ve missed you pegster!

 **GreekGod:** <3333333

 **WriteMyWayOut:** PEGGY. PEGLEG. PEGSTER. PEGSQUARED, AM I FORGIVEN? DID YOU GET MY ESSAYS? WHAT ABOUT MY FLOWERS? DID YOU LIKE THE CHOCOLATES I SENT? PLS FORGIVE ME.

 **WatchYouBurn: ….** Woah there Alex

 **AndPEGGY:** firstly, settle down hamsquared. Fine. Forgiven, just stop sending me essays! even my postman is fed up.

 **WriteMyWayOut:** ………sorry…..

 **NeverSatisfied:** okay now wasn’t there something y’all wanted to tell us?

 **AndPEGGY:** YES OKAY YES GATHER ROUND CHILDREN IT IS STORY TIME

 **LadOnTour:** I’ve missed ur stories pls tell

 **LaffOutLoud:** *gathers*

 **GreekGod:** ^^

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** this better be good

 **AndPEGGY:** OH IT IS

 **WatchYouBurn:** We’re listening

 **WriteMyWayOut:** We’re queer and ready to hear

 **AndPEGGY:** SO U GUYS. I WAS IN STARBUCKS WAITING FOR A FRIEND OKAY

AND THIS REALLY REALLY CUTE GIRL IS THERE RIGHT?

LIKE WHEN I SAY CUTE I MEAN HOLY QUEEN BEYONCE HOLD ME. I CAN’T COPE.

  **LaffOutLoud:** How cute though?

 **LadOnTour:** yeah like, on a scale of 1-10?

 **AndPEGGY:** 11 M8. SHE WAS AN 11.

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** Wow okay

 **GreekGod:** Gayyyyyy

 **AndPEGGY:** OH YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW OKAY

 **WriteMyWayOut:** Pegleg. You are like…our Alpha Gay. We know. Trust us, we know.

 **NeverSatisfied:** tbh

 **WatchYouBurn:** tru

 **AndPEGGY:** THAT’S THE THING THO YOU GUYS I CANT BE ALPHA GAY NO MORE.

 **LadOnTour:** Alpha Gay™

 **AndPEGGY:** SO THIS CUTE GIRL COMES UP TO ME AND I STG IM DYING BC LIKE WHY DOES SHE EVEN KNOW I EXIST

I FELT UNWORTHY SHE SMILED AT ME AND I NEARLY CRIED. LIKE FO REAL #BLESSED

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** Jesus Peg

 **LaffOutLoud:** aww dat is very funny

 **LadOnTour:** pls. continue.

 **AndPEGGY:** IM GETTING TO IT…U HAVE NOT EVEN HEARD THE BEST PART YET. LIKE IM STANDING THERE LIKE SMILING LIKE A FUCKING KID AT XMAS YEAH BECAUSE THIS CUTIE KNOWS I EXIST AND IS SMILING AT ME.

LIKE OMG THO EVEN HER SMILE IS CUTE. I AM DEAD AT THIS POINT. BUT IT GETS BETTER

 **NeverSatisfied:** This is so gay, I love it.

 **WriteMyWayOut:** HOWLING OKAY WHAT ELSE PEGLEG?

 **GreekGod:** Pls say u got her number….

 **WatchYouBurn:** She’s ALPHA GAY ofc she did

 **AndPEGGY:** NO U SEE, THAT’S THE THING U GUYS. SO THIS GIRL COMES UP TO ME AND HOLY HUFFLEPUFF. SHES CUTER UP CLOSE. LIKE, ALYCIA DEBNAM CAREY CUTE OKAY? SO U GET WHY IM #DEAD

AND SHE SAYS HEY TO ME. AT THIS POINT IM DEAD AND HAVE REACHED HEAVEN AND IT LOOKS BEAUTIFUL. SHE LOOKS BEAUTIFUL. IM SO GAY.

 **LaffOutLoud:** tag urself im holy hufflepuff. Anyway. Continue…

 **AndPEGGY:** YES. SO. SHE’S SAID HEY RIGHT? SO LIKE MY BRAIN IS LIKE YOU TRASHY GAY ASS CLOWN, SAY HEY BACK AND PICK YOUR JAW UP FROM THE FLOOR. UR DROOLING EVERYWHERE.

 **GreekGod:** YODELLING OMFG

 **LadOnTour:** TAG URSELF…IM  TRASHY GAY ASS CLOWN

 **NeverSatisfied:** Im holy hufflepuff tooo ngl

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** im #DEAD

 **WriteMyWayOut:** same omg

 **WatchYouBurn:** sameee pls. I aspire to be as gay as Pegg…

 **AndPEGGY:** YES ANYWAY. IM TELLING A STORY.

 **WriteMyWayOut:** sorry

 **LadOnTour:** sorry

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** sorry

 **WatchYouBurn:** soz

 **GreekGod:** sorry

 **NeverSatisfied:** sorry Peggs please continue

 **AndPEGGY:** YEAH SO. SHE SAYS HEY. IM DEAD, BRAIN TELLS MY GAY ASS TO TALK AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IT DOES OKAY. BUT MY BRAIN MELTED AND IM A GOD DAMN ROOM TEMPERATURE CALAMITY AND INSTEAD OF HEY

MY BRAIN DECIDES TO SHOUT “GAY” AT THE CUTE NOW VERY AMUSED GIRL.

WELL, I SWEAR. I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EMBARRASSED IN MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE.

 **LadOnTour:** OH. MY GOD. THIS IS GOLDEN.

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** TBH BEST STORY EVER.

 **GreekGod:** YODELLING

 **WriteMyWayOut:** JFC PEGLEG. WOW.

 **LaffOutLoud:** truly outgayyed yourself.

 **NeverSatisfied:** Alpha Gay strikes again

 **WatchYouBurn:** Alpha Gay™

 **AndPEGGY:** NO BUT IT GETS WORSE OKAY. I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO RECOVER FROM THAT AND I AM DEAD INSIDE AND THIS GIRL IS NOW LAUGHING AT ME AND THE WHOLE OF STARBUCKS JUST WITNESSED THIS ROOM TEMP CALAMITY. THIS SLIGHTLY CHILLY ACCIDENT.

ANYWAY. I PANIC HARD. AND DO THE ONLY LOGICAL THING I CAN THINK OF. I LITERALLY TURN AROUND AND RUN OUT OF THE STORE AND AROUND THE CORNER. PRETTY SURE I LEFT MY WALLET.

LIKE. I DO NOT RUN FOR ANYTHING. BUT I HAD TO GET AWAY. AND IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT THAT’S WHAT MY STUPID GAY SELF DID OKAY?

  **LaffOutLoud:** OMFG. STOP. I CANT. YODELLING.

 **NeverSatisfied:** OH MY GOD PEGGY.

 **WatchYouBurn:** IM HOWLING.

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** THIS IS BETTER THAN #BABYGAYTE OMG

 **WriteMyWayOut:** WTF THE FUCK SMH IM DISSAPOINT PEGLEG. THAT’S NOT V GAY OF U

 **LadOnTour:** SOMEONE TAKE AWAY HER GAY CARD.

 **AndPEGGY:** I PANICKED OKAY. STOP LEAVE ME ALONE TO WALLOW IN MY ASHAMED GAY SELF. I AM BUT A SMOL GAY WHY MUST U DRAG ME LIKE THIS?

 **GreekGod:** BEST STORY 11/10 RT IF U AGREE

 **LaffOutLoud:** RT

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** RT

 **WatchYouBurn:** RT

 **WriteMyWayOut:** RT

 **NeverSatisfied:** RT

 **LadOnTour:** RT

 **AndPEGGY:** GUYS NO. PLS. I GIVE UP MY CROWN AS ALPHA GAY. IM SORRY.

 **WriteMyWayOut:** Did u even get a name??????

 **AndPEGGY:** ….uh .....yeah SO, like....here’s the thing…………u guys know her..........

 **WatchYouBurn:** OMG WAT? WHO IS SHE???

 **LaffOutLoud:** OMG TELL US

 **AndPEGGY:** NO U WILL HATE ME.

 **GreekGod:**???????

 **NeverSatisfied:** WHO IS IT???

 **LadOnTour:** OMFG PLS. TELL US.

 **AndPEGGY:** Her names Maria…….

Maria Reynolds….

 **WriteMyWayOut:** g2gg2gg2g2g

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** OH MY GOD.

_WriteMyWayOut has left the group chat_

**WatchYouBurn:** OH MY GOD PEGGY. IM NOT EVEN ANGRY. IM YODELING.

 **LaffOutLoud:** THIS JUST GOT SO MUCH BETTER

 **GreekGod:** WENT FROM 0 TO 100 REAL FAST

 **LadOnTour:** OMFG HOLD ON…………

 **NeverSatisfied:** HOWLING. OH. MY. GOD. PEGGY.

_LadOnTour added SayNoToThis_

**AndPEGGY:** NO NO NO NO NO NO

 **LadOnTour:** GAY MARIA

 **WatchYouBurn:** GAY

 **GreekGod:** GAY

 **NeverSatisfied:** GAY

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** GAY!!!!!!

 **SayNoToThis:** what’s going on here?  Peggy? Wait…is this about earlier?

You left so quickly you forgot your coffee..and you dropped your wallet. Want me to drop it round?

 **AndPEGGY:** NO NO SOZ MARIA PLS G2G G2G G2G

_AndPEGGY has left the group chat_

**SayNoToThis:** Was it something I said?

  **LadOnTour:** Try...morelike..something Peggy said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we have it. The “Hey”/”Gay” incident is now out there for the world to see. It still haunts me. To the really cute girl who I actually did run away from: I’m really sorry that I’m an awkward idiot who runs from my mistakes. I give up my crown as The Alpha Gay™. Next Up: ‘Southern Trouble’


	5. Southern Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter in which pokemon may cause an actual murder, Burr is a clueless bab, everyone’s favorite mother fucking democratic republican is salty and Washington is sassy af. Chaos ensues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for shade and lots of sass. Pssst sorry it’s taken so long to update but I’ve been procrastinating because I am the worst type of person. I also want to thank each and every one of you who has left kudos so far. I love you all <3  
> Screen names  
> Hamilton: WriteMyWayOut  
> Peggy: AndPEGGY  
> Eliza: WatchYouBurn  
> Angelica: NeverSatisfied  
> KingGeorge: LadOnTour  
> Laurens: TurtleBoiWaddup  
> Hercules: GreekGod  
> Lafayette: LaffOutLoud  
> Maria: SayNoToThis  
> Washington: WashingDone  
> Jefferson: WhatDidIMiss

_You have entered the group Hamshade™_

_TurtleBoiWaddup added WriteMyWayOut and AndPEGGY_

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** YOU GUYS POKEMON GO HAS BEEN OUT FOR LIKE TWO WEEKS WHY HAVE WE NOT GONE ON A POKE-SQUAD ADVENTURE YET?

 **NeverSatisfied:** THAT IS A VERY GOOD QUESTION. POKE-VENTURE THIS AFTERNOON RT IF YOU AGREE

 **WatchYouBurn:** RT

 **LadOnTour:** omg yes RT

 **SayNoToThis:** …Can I come?....if that’s okay?

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** YES!

 **GreekGod:** RTRTRTRT

 **LaffOutLoud:** RT LETS BE THE VERY BEAST LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS.

 **WriteMyWayOut:** RT also tag urself im ‘very beast like no one ever was’

 **WatchYouBurn:** omfg HOWLING.

 **LaffOutLoud:** that is the song non?

 **GreekGod:** ITS VERY BEST LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS

 **AndPEGGY:** personally I prefer to be the very beast like no one ever was…you get me ;)

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** OMFG

 **WashingDone:** Peggy that’s something I never want to see. Ever. Save it for the bedroom  or for someone else in this chat. #IfYouGetMe

 **WatchYouBurn:** YODELLING. SIR WASHINGTON STRIKES AGAIN.

 **WriteMyWayOut:** IM SO PROUD SIR.

 **LaffOutLoud:** Not so much of a beast now are you Peg?

 **AndPEGGY:** why must you drag me like this??? I feel honestly more attacked than Ash Ketchum everytime Team Rocket try to steal Pikachu.

 **WriteMyWayOut:** Pegleg you don’t even have pokemon go why are you complaining?

 **GreekGod:** WAIT WHAT?? WHY?

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** PEGGY GET POKEMON GO WTF THE FUCK?

 **WashingDone:** Even Burr has this Pokemon app and he doesn’t even know what pokemon is…Peggy, why don’t you?

 **WaitForIt:** It’s true I named my plant dinosaur thing Theodosia. I like this game, it’s got pretty animals.

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** PLANT DINOSAUR THING????

 **WriteMyWayOut:** BURR WTF THE FUCK

 **LaffOutLoud:** HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO BULBASAUR IS?

 **GreekGod:** I knew there was a reason I disliked Burr…

 **WaitForIt:** What was that?

 **GreekGod:** NOTHING.

 **NeverSatisfied:** BURR CHECK URSELF. HOW DARE U INSULT BULBASAUR LIKE THIS.

 **WaitForIt:** I should go….

_WaitForIt left the group chat_

**SayNoToThis:** DID Y’ALL JUST MAKE BURR LEAVE OVER POKEMON? IM GONNA FIT IN WELL WITH YOU GUYS.

 **WashingDone:** serves him right for calling bulbasaur ‘plant dinosaur thing’. Ammature.

 **WriteMyWayOut:** #SOPROUD SIR

 **AndPEGGY:** Washington is on a roll #slayqueen

 **LadOnTour:** Aren’t we forgetting the important question..WHY THE FUCK DONT U HAVE POKEMON GO YET PEGSTER?

 **AndPEGGY:** LOOK ITS NOT MY FAULT IT DOESNT WORK ON MY CRAPPY GOD DAMN PHONE OKAY. I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS EITHER BELIVE ME.

 **NeverSatified:** OMG my heart aches for u. guess you can’t be a true pokemaster.

 **WatchYouBurn:** I guess all those years of you playing pokemon on your own in your room will never pay off now

 **AndPEGGY:** STAY IN YOUR LANES.

 **GreekGod:** PEGGY CAN NEVER BE A POKEMASTER

 **LadOnTour:** HOW TRAGIC

 **WatchYouBurn:** WHAT A FROZEN CATASTROPHY

 **LaffOutLoud:** WHAT A SLIGHTLY CHILLY INNCIDENT

 **WriteMyWayOut:** WHAT A ROOM TEMPERATURE CALAMITY

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** WHAT A WARM DISASTER

 **NeverSatisfied:** WHAT A HOT MESS

 **SayNoToThis:** WHAT A BOILING CLUTTER

 **WashingDone:** WHAT A BURNT TRAGEDY

 **AndPEGGY:** WHAT THE HELL GUYS. G WASH…YOU TOO??? I EXPECTED BETTER. MARIA WHY?

 **SayNoToThis:** Sorry Peg..

 **WashingDone:** sorry Peggy It was too tempting not to.

 **GreekGod:** IM NOT SORRY

 **LadOnTour:** ^^

 **NeverSatisfied:** ^^

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** ^^

 **LaffOutLoud:** ^^

 **WatchYouBurn:** ^^

 **AndPEGGY:** POKE-GO FUCK YOURSELVES.

 **WriteMyWayOut:** OMFG EVEN JEFFRSON HAS POKEMON GO. GUYS BUT GET THIS…

HE ONLY HAS THREE POKEMON

A MACHOP- CALLED “MAC”

A MAGNEMITE-CALLED “’N’”

AND A PIKACHU CALLED “CHEESE”

HE LITERALLY HAS THREE POKEMON AND ON SCREEN THEY ARE CALLED MAC ‘N’ CHEESE

 **NeverSatisfied:** WHAT THE FUCK OMFG

 **SayNoToThis:** HOWLING OMFG

 **WatchYouBurn:** ARE YOU SERIOUS RN?

_NeverSatisfied added WhatDidIMiss_

**LadOnTour:** OMFG

 **SayNoToThis:** JFC YES. I LIVE FOR DRAMA.

 **AndPEGGY:** YOU AND ME BOTH SISTA

 **WashingDone:** Why must there always be drama?

 **SayNoToThis:** ;)

 **WhatDidIMiss:** what’s going on and why am I in a group chat with you people?

 **AndPEGGY:** HEY WAASUP. TJEFF…TJ CAN  I CALL U TJ

 **WhatDidIMiss:** Don’t call me that.

 **SayNoToThis:** DON’T CALL YOU WHAT? TJ? IM CALLING HIM TJ FROM NOW ON

 **WriteMyWayOut:** JEFFERSON WE NEED WORDS.

 **LaffOutLoud:** OH MY GOD TEAR THIS DUDE APART

 **GreekGod:** YES

 **WhatDidIMiss:** ….may I ask what the frilly holy hell this is? Words? What in freedom’s name are you on about Alexander?

 **LaffOutLoud:** Tag urself I’m frilly holy hell

 **LadOnTour:** I’m ‘in freedom’s name’

 **WhatDidIMiss:** must you act like children? Now must I ask again…Why am I here?  

 **NeverSatisfied:** THOMAS JEFFERSON DID YOU REALLY NAME YOUR THREE POKEMON MAC ‘N’ CHEESE

 **WhatDidIMiss:** ….who told you that. Hamilton…did you tell them this?

 **WriteMyWayOut:** ANSWER THE QUESTION.

 **WhatDidIMiss:** …I may have…

 **WriteMyWayOut:** I TOLD YOU

 **SayNoToThis:** OH MY GOD

 **LadOnTour:** IM DEAAD

 **WashingDone:** Jefferson I’m honestly ashamed.

 **WhatDidIMiss:** Sir????

 **LaffOutLoud:** DADDIES NOT ANGRY HE IS DISSAPOINTED

 **WashingDone:** Yes he is. ‘Daddy’ is very disappointed but then again, this IS Jefferson so there’s no real change there.

 **NeverSatisfied:** I CANT BREATH. STOP. LAUGHING. TOO. HARD

 **AndPEGGY:** DADDIES DISSAPOINTED. IM YODELLING. GWASH MY MAN I LOVE YOU  <3

 **WatchYouBurn:** SAME HOLY HELL. WASHINGTON IS SLAYING

 **GreekGod:** IM DEAD AND GONE. HELP.

 **WriteMyWayOut:** SIR OH MY GOD. YOU HAVE JUST BECOME MY ACTUAL HERO.

 **WhatDidIMiss:** I don’t think I like Pokemon anymore.

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** HOWLING. OMFG WASHINGTON IS THE GROUPS HERO.

 **WhatDidIMiss:** Hamilton I swear to god, I’m going to ruin your life for this.

 **WriteMyWayOut:** OH IM SHAKING IN MY BOOTS. RUN HOME TO MARTHA TJ.

 **WhatDidIMiss:** Just you wait Alexander. Just. You. Wait.

_WashingDone removed WhatDidIMiss_

**WashingDone:** That's better.

 **WriteMyWayOut:** Honestly, sir. you truly are my hero.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Missing: The Sun, last seen before this group chat became a thing. It’s so inconvenient, I can’t see a thing in all this damn shade. I honestly blame Washington. No but for real, I don't have Pokemon GO and it's legit hurting my very existence.  
> Next up: ‘When Friendship Becomes FriendSHIP’ ;)  
> Come bug me on tumblr Thedorktah@tumblr.com


	6. When Friendship Becomes FriendSHIP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter in which things get a little more gay and a lot more awkward. You know how it is.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much fun writing this chapter because I am actual trash. Again I want to thank everyone who leaves kudos, you guys have no idea how much it means to me <3 I'm an validation seeking whore of a writer so please comment your opinions on the fic if you like it. <3  
> Screen names as always:  
> Hamilton: WriteMyWayOut  
> Peggy: AndPEGGY  
> Eliza: WatchYouBurn  
> Angelica: NeverSatisfied  
> KingGeorge: LadOnTour  
> Laurens: TurtleBoiWaddup  
> Hercules: GreekGod  
> Lafayette: LaffOutLoud  
> Maria: SayNoToThis

_You have entered the group Hamshade™_

**AndPEGGY:** GUYS I HAVE AN IMPORTANT QUESTION.

 **LadOnTour:** Peggy it’s like 8am wtf the fuck why are you even up? You are never up early

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** what’s up peg?

 **SayNoToThis:** Tbh you guys really don’t want to know the question.

 **AndPEGGY:** SHUT UP MARIA JUST BECAUSE YOU COULDN’T ANSWER IT.

 **NeverSatisfied:** what’s the question???

 **WatchYouBurn:** yea whats up pegster?

 **SayNoToThis:** JUST BECAUSE AS SOON AS I WOKE UP AND WALKED THROUGH MY LIVING ROOM YOU AMUSHED ME WITH THAT QUESTION

 **WriteMyWayOut:** Wait WHAT????

 **AndPEGGY:** NOTHING. ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING.

ANYWAY BACK TO MY VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION

 **GreekGod:** IM CONFLICTED AS TO WHAT I WANNA KNOW FIRST, THE IMPORTANT QUESTION OR WHY YOU WERE IN MARIA’S LIVINGROOM AT 8AM

 **LaffOutLoud:** THE LATTER PLEASE

 **SayNoToThis:** oops. I’ve said too much haven’t I?

 **WriteMyWayOut:** YOU HAVE NOT SAID ENOUGH MARIA REYNOLDS.

 **AndPEGGY:** ANYWAY THE VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION. PLS. LETS GET BACK TO THAT

OK SO LIKE

IVE ALWAYS WONDERED THIS BUT LIKE

What if the monsters in your closet were just your inner gay trying to escape the whole time??

Did I mention I haven’t slept at all?

 **NeverSatisfied:** THAT’S YOUR QUESTION???

 **WatchYouBurn:** PEGGY WTF THE FUCK?

 **SayNoToThis:** I Told you guys you didn’t want to know the question

Peggy I told you the couch was uncomfortable, why didn’t you take my offer to take my bed?

 **AndPEGGY:** YES THAT IS MY QUESTION

MARIA YOU SHH GOD DAMN IT

 **GreekGod:** PEGGY IM SCREAMING WHAT THE HELL???

 **WriteMyWayOut:** WAIT WHAT??????

 **LaffOutLoud:** EXPLAIN NOW PLS??? WHY WERE YOU IN MARIA’S HOUSE AND WHY WAS THERE AN OFFER FOR A BED?

 **NeverSatisfied:** IS THERE SOMETHING HAPPENING HERE? EXPLAIN PLS

 **LaffOutLoud:** OH MY GOD IS MY OTP REAL?

 **SayNoToThis:** I have said too much..uhhhh..g2g g2g g2g

_SayNoToThis has left the group_

**LadOnTour:** RT IF PEGGY SHOULD TELL US WTF THE FUCK IS GOING ON

 **WriteMyWayOut:** RT

 **NeverSatisfied:** RT

 **GreekGod:** RT

 **LaffOutLoud:** RT, FAVE, SCREENSHOT.

 **AndPEGGY:** DELETE FOREVER.

 **WatchYouBurn:** RT

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** RT

 **AndPEGGY:** NOTHING IS GOING ON. STOP. NO SHUT UP GUYS.

 **WriteMyWayOut:** PEGLEG TELL US, FIRST YOU’RE A SLIGHTLY CHILLY ACCIDENT OVER HAVING A CRUSH ON HER NOW YOU’RE GETTING INVITES TO HER BED?

 **NeverSatisfied:** ALPHA GAY STRIKES VICTORIOUS. IM SO PROUD.

 **GreekGod:** THE SHIP SAILS ITSELF

 **AndPEGGY:** ITS NOT LIKE THAT SHUT UP

GOD YOU ARE SO EMBARRISING

STOP

WE JUST WENT TO A PARTY AND I GOT TOO DRUNK AND MARIA LET ME CRASH AT HERS. SHE OFFERED ME HER BED AND SHE WOULD TAKE THE COUCH

NOTHING MORE. STOP PLS.

 **WatchYouBurn:** I SHIP IT

 **NeverSatisfied:** ^^

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** ^^

 **LaffOutLoud :** ^^ best ship 11/10

 **AndPEGGY:** NO. STOP.

 **GreekGod:** ^^

 **WriteMyWayOut:** TOO LATE. OTP. FAVE SHIP, BETTER THAN ROCHAMBEAU

 **LadOnTour:** ^^

 **AndPEGGY:** NO OMFG STOP.

PLEASE I BEG YOU.

 **WriteMyWayOut:** WHEN’S THE WEDDING PEGLEG?

 **LaffOutLoud :** CAN I BE BEST MAN?

 **GreekGod:** CAN I BE THE FLOWER GIRL?

 **AndPEGGY:** NEVER. NO. AND NO. STOP.

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** I’LL BE MARIAS BEST MAN

 **NeverSatisfied:** ME AND ELIZA ARE BRIDEMAIDS

 **WatchYouBurn:** DAMN RIGHT WE ARE

 **AndPEGGY:** THERE IS NO WEDDING STOP. NO. PLS

 **LadOnTour:** I HEAR WINDSOR CASTLE IS LOVELY THIS TIME OF YEAR. PERFECT LOCATION FOR A WEDDING.

 **AndPEGGY:** OH MY GOD GUYS STOP. I FORBID THIS SHIP.

_WriteMyWayOut added SayNoToThis_

**NeverSatisfied:** GAY MARIA

 **WatchYouBurn:** GAY MY FAVE SISTER IN LAW

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** GAY

 **SayNoToThis:** not this again omg

 **LadOnTour:** GAY MARIA

 **GreekGod:** GAY  <3

 **LaffOutLoud:** GAY SECOND HALF OF MY OTP

 **WriteMyWayOut:** GAY MARIA, SO WE HAVE IT ALL PLANNED OUT.

THE WEDDING I MEAN

 **SayNoToThis:** wait what?

 **AndPEGGY:** MARIA NO PLS DON’T LISTEN TO THEM.

STAY IN YOUR LANES U TRASHY GAY ASS CLOWNS

 **LadOnTour:** Peg I think it’s time you fill dear Maria in on something…or do we do it for you? ;)

 **AndPEGGY:** NO STOP OR I STG I WILL UNLEASH A NEW WAVE OF #BABYGAYTE HELL

 **SayNoToThis:** Peg, what’s..what’s going on where even are you going?

 **AndPEGGY:** NOTHING JUST MY FRIENDS ARE ASSHOLES.

Don’t MIND ME IM JUST LEAVING.

MAYBE THE COUNTRY. MAYBE THE PLANET MAYBE EVEN THE SOLAR SYSTEM

 **WriteMyWayOut:** IM HOWLING SHES GONNA RUN AWAY AGAIN

 **LaffOutLoud:** YODELLING

 **SayNoToThis:** Peggy come back I think we need to talk.

Oh my god she actually has left.

 **NeverSatisfied:** oh my god peggy not again

 **WatchYouBurn:** PEGGY STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS

 **GreekGod:** this is the best thing I have ever seen in any group chat ever

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** MARGRET SCHUYLER COME BACK HERE AND FACE YOUR CRUSH LIKE AN ADULT

 **SayNoToThis:** wait crush? Peggy…you have a crush on me?

 **AndPEGGY:** G2G G2 G2G G2G (LAURENS YOU ARE SO FUCKING DEAD)

_AndPEGGY has left the group_

**WriteMyWayOut:** WOOP THERE IT IS

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** OH. MY. GOD. THIS IS PURE GOLD.

 **GreekGod:** IM ACTUALLY SOBBING. REAL TEARS THROUGH THE LAUGHTER. MY SIDES HURT.

 **SayNoToThis:** Uhhhhhh……………………..

 **NeverSatisfied:** ID RATE THIS 11/10

 **WatchYouBurn:** SAME

 **LadOnTour:** MARIA NOW YOU KNOW WHY WE KEPT SAYING GAY INSTEAD OF HEY. ITS TO WIND UP PEGSTER FOR HAVING A CRUSH ON YOU

 **SayNoToThis:** So now’s a good time to admit I have a crush on Peggy too then huh?

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** OH MY GOD

 **NeverSatisfied:** HOLY SHIT

 **GreekGod:** I HAVE NEVER SHIPPED ANYTHING MORE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

 **SayNoToThis:** uhhhhhhhhh……………#awkward

 **WriteMyWayOut:** I SHIP IT SO HARD IT HURTS

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** SAME

 **LaffOutLoud:** HOW PEGGY SAY?? ‘HOLY QUEEN BEYONCE HOLD ME’

ITS HAPPENING. OMG.THE SHIP. THE OTP.

 **NeverSatisfied:** SO WHEN DO YOU PLAN ON ASKING OUR SISTER OUT?

 **SayNoToThis:** G2GG2GG2G

_SayNoToThis has left the group_

**WatchYouBurn:** I guess Peggy won’t be saying no to this then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one goes out to anyone who’s ever fell victim of the friendSHIP! I feel for you <3 To anyone who has ever committed friendSHIP -Pls stop this. Friends should not ship friends…if they want to live a long life that is. We've all been there though right? just me then? yeah okay..anyway, Next up: ‘Daddies Daycare’  
> As always come bug me on tumblr: Thedorktah@tumblr.com


	7. Daddies Daycare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter in which Hamshade is MIA, sin is committed, hate is evident, everyone is childish af and poor Washington has no idea how to handle anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Hamshade is missing all day, DaddiesDaycare comes out to play. I really wish they wouldn’t.  
> PS sorry I took so long to upload but I’ve been sorting out/finalizing a few things after being accepted into Uni. I’m also currently working at a comic convention all this weekend, not sure when this will uploaded then. Probably when I have a spare moment. Kudos and Comments fuel me..pls do leave some.  
> Screen names  
> Hamilton: WriteMyWayOut  
> KingGeorge: LadOnTour  
> Laurens: TurtleBoiWaddup  
> Hercules: GreekGod  
> Lafayette: LaffOutLoud  
> Washington: WashingDone  
> Burr: WaitForIt  
> Jefferson: WhatDidIMiss  
> Madison: DownWithTheSickness

_You have entered the group StrictlyBusiness_

_WashingDone added WriteMyWayOut, WhatDidIMiss, WaitForIt, LadOnTour and DownWithTheSickness_

**WashingDone:** Alright gentlemen, after much convincing to use social media outlets -to keep everyone in the office in the loop; this shall be our designated platform for discussing business.

And business only please.

I absolutely mean this. We are a respected news outlet

That means no fooling about. NO dragging/arguing

Hamilton looking at you here. Don’t start anything

 **WriteMyWayOut:** start anything ?

Sir, look. Whatever u heard is wrong.

Jefferson starts it.

Every time.

 **WaitForIt:** oh no, wait for it…

 **WriteMyWayOut:** ;)

 **WaitForIt:** That wasn’t intentional, trust me.

 **LadOnTour:** UH EXCUSE YOU

 

_  SUREJAN.gif _

 

BURR YOU LIVE FOR TIMES YOU CAN USE THAT LINE

 **WhatDidIMiss:** Hold on. Me? Starting? It? Every? Time?

ME?

Like, Whaaaaaaaaaaatt?

 **LadOnTour:** oh my god I could actually hear the ungodly southern accent

I think I’m going to puke.

 **WriteMyWayOut:** same tbh.

And yes. You! TJ. Glad u agree

Now pls stop being problematic, this is for business and business only.

 **WashingDone:** this is enough, thank you Alexander.

 **LadOnTour:** ham u Kiss ass

 **WriteMyWayOut:** ;)  <3 I live to please.

 **WhatDidIMiss:** Hamilton, you are the most problematic person I have ever met.

There’s not a day goes by where you _DON’T_ try and start something.

And DON’T call me TJ.

 **DownWithTheSickness:** Thomas you should dignify a response to the childish taunts.

 **WaitForIt:** I agree

 **WhatDidIMiss:** because if alexander Hamilton IS anything, he is childish

 **WriteMyWayOut:** I KNOW U R BUT WAT AM I?

 ** _DownWithTheSickness_ : **For the most part, an arrogant arse.

 **WaitForIt:** A proud arse

 **WhatDidIMiss:** A Opinionated arse

 **LadOnTour:** just a complete arse

 **WriteMyWayOut:** RIGHT

SO

FIRSTLY, MADISON U WEREN’T COMPLAINING ABOUT MY ARROGANCE IN OUR JOURNALISM DAYS WHEN WE WERE WRITING ABOUT THE PROS OF A FEDERALIST PAPER.

JEFFERSON I’M PROUD. PROUD TO NOT BE UR FRIEND.

BURR AT LEAST I HAVE OPINIONS.

GEORGIE #BABYGAYTE

 **WashingDone:** Children. The lot of you. What did I say when first adding you to the chat?

 **WriteMyWayOut:** welp

Sorry

ok but to be fair to TJ…Madison started that one.

 **WaitForIt:** Did Hamilton just say sorry

 

_  SoundsFakeButOkay.gif _

 

 **LadOnTour:** YES BURR.

 **WriteMyWayOut:** I do that a lot and yet people are always surprised?

Thanks A-a-ron

 **WaitForIt:** How many times, do I have to tell you not to call me that?

 **DownWithTheSickness:** idk something about burr using a gif in its-self sounds fake

Not to mention Hamilton saying sorry more than once in his life

 **LadOnTour:** I didn’t know Aaron Burr even knew what a gif was

 **WaitForIt:** ….

 **WhatDidIMiss:** I didn’t know Alexander Hamilton knew what the word ‘sorry’ was

 **WriteMyWayOut:** U KNOW WHAT

I TAKE BK THAT SORRY

FUCK U MACARONI FUCKER

YOU ARE ALL SNAKES

 **WashingDone:** THAT IS ENOUGH FROM ALL OF YOU DAMN KIDS

_LadOnTour added TurtleBoiWaddup, LaffOutLoud and GreekGod_

**LadOnTour:** GUYS

DADDIES GETTING MAD

 **WaitForIt:** oh no…..

 **LaffOutLoud:** OMG

BLESS U FOR INCLUDING ME

#Honoured

 **GreekGod:** #Blessed

 **WashingDone:** I SWEAR TO GOD.

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** who’s sir daddy mad at ?

Alex darling what did u do

 **WriteMyWayOut:** literally nothing John

Its TJ

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** OH WADDUP TJ BOI

 **DownWithTheSickness:** what the hell is going on?

 **WaitForIt:** If I had a dollar for every time I asked that around these people, I would be a rich man

 **GreekGod:** A-a-ron, you ARE a rich man.

 **LaffOutLoud:** you are the worst Burr

 **WashingDone:** YOU CHILDREN I SWEAR STOP ALREADY

LIKE REALLY. STOP.

SOMETIMES I SWEAR ITS LIKE BABYSITTING

 **WriteMyWayOut:** Don’t say the word baby sir

It may trigger some people in the chat

 **LadOnTour:** STAY IN UR LANE WHILST U STILL CAN

 **WashingDone:** ACTUAL KIDS. I AM SO DONE WITH YOU ALL

 **WhatDidIMiss:** I STEP AWAY FOR LIKE A SECOND…

FIRSTLY. STOP CALLING ME TJ

WHAT THE HELL ? HAMILTONS LAP DOGS. WHY ARE YOU EVEN IN THE CHAT NOW?

DID Y’ALL JUST REFER TO GEORGE WASHINGTON AS DADDY?

………..

Actually you know what just answer the first two questions

 **WriteMyWayOut:** OH MY GOD  

 **GreekGod:** HOWLING. TJ AGREES WITH DADDY

 **WashingDone:** CAN YOU ALL JUST BEHAVE FOR ONCE?

LIKE IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

 AM I ACTUALLY JUST BABYSITTING A BUNCH OF SCHOOL CHILDREN OR PEOPLE WHO ARE FULLY GROWN ADULTS?

_TurtleBoiWaddup named the group DaddiesDaycare_

**LadOnTour:** #DEAD

 **LaffOutLoud:** OH MY GOD LAURENS

 **WriteMyWayOut:** John, I really do love you.

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** <3 you’re welcome

 **GreekGod:**     

                                           

  _HAGAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.GIF_

 

 **LadOnTour:** Wait till the rest of the group hear about this

 **WashingDone:** I STG IF I GET A MESSAGE FROM ANY OF THE SCHUYLER SISTERS I WILL LOOSE IT

 **LadOnTour:** Can I at least tell peggy?

_WashingDone removed LadOnTour_

**WaitForIt:** take me with you please

_WaitForIt has left the group chat_

**WhatDidIMiss:** …………

I can’t believe this

 **WriteMyWayOut:** YOU SHUT UP

DONT PRETEND YOUR NOT LOVING THIS

TO QUOTE MY DEAREST FRIEND PEGLEG

YOU

DADDY

LOVING

MEME

FUCK

 **WhatDidIMiss:** I….I…LOOK

DADDY

FUCK

NO

SIR

I MEAN SIR

I DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY MEAN

I RESPECT YOU.

FUCK.

 **GreekGod:** 11/10 recovery TJ

 **LaffOutLoud:** TJ IS HOW U SAY??

THIRSTIER THAN ME?

 **WriteMyWayOut:** ^^

 **WashingDone:** you know what. I give up. I regret ever making this group chat.

Almost as much as I regret reading that Thomas.

Honestly, I can’t even deal with this information rn I’d sooner be sick

Thomas please consider literally doing ANYTHING other than thirsting over me.

Hell, thirst over Hamilton for all I care.

_WashingDone has left the group_

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** #TJTHETHIRSTY

 **WhatDidIMiss:** FUCK YOU ALL

 **DownWithTheSickness:** Y’all are sinners

You desperately need Jesus

You too Thomas.

I had faith in you

_DownWithTheSickness has left the group chat_

**WriteMyWayOut:** WTF WASHINGTON HAD TO DRAG ME INTO THAT?

TJ IF YOU SO MUCH AS BREATH SUGGESTIVELY IN MY DIRECTION

I STG IT WILL NOT END WELL FOR YOU

 **LaffOutLoud:** You know…John, sorry but

I mean…

Alex and Thomas..it kinda makes sense?

All that how you say??

Sexual pressure ???

 **GreekGod:** OH. MY. GOD. BABE.

 **WhatDidIMiss:** What the fuck are you on about?..........

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** SEXUAL PRESSURE IM CRYING

TENSION U MEAN TENSION

 **WhatDidIMiss:** WHAT THE FUCK LAFF?

_WhatDidIMiss removed GreekGod and LaffOutLoud_

_WriteMyWayOut removed WhatDidIMiss_

**WriteMyWayOut:** UH IM SORRY WAIT NO WHAT?

HOLD A MOMENT THO

EXCUSE YOU?

WTF THE FUCK DID HE MEAN SEXUAL TENSION?

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** Oh Alex, dear.

My love.

My sweet summer child.

We need to talk about you and dear old TJ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I need to go to church. I’m not even kidding. Please pray for this poor sinner’s soul. You know why?? Because I literally can’t think of the name George Washington without thinking “Daddy”. Wtf the fuck ammirite? Next Up: ‘Guys, Gals and Non-Binary Pals’  
> @ me on tumblr or not? I'm not the boss of you.  
> thedorktah@tumblr.com


	8. Guys, Gals And Non-Binary Pals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where pride plays a huge part, things get gay, soppy confessions are made. Ew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The inspiration for this fic may or may not be because I’ve just been to Pride in my city. Woops?  
> Also sorry this is a late upload..i've been slightly busy being gay.You know how it is  
> Do I even need to keep putting Screen names? it's just become habit. Kudos and comments fuel me please leave some?  
> Hamilton: WriteMyWayOut  
> Peggy: AndPEGGY  
> Eliza: WatchYouBurn  
> Angelica: NeverSatisfied  
> KingGeorge: LadOnTour  
> Laurens: TurtleBoiWaddup  
> Hercules: GreekGod  
> Lafayette: LaffOutLoud  
> Maria: SayNoToThis  
> Washington: WashingDone

_You have entered the group Hamshade™_

_WriteMyWayOut added SayNoToThis and AndPEGGY_

**WriteMyWayOut:** Yo HAPPY PRIDE YOU BIG BUNCH OF GAYS

 **TurtleBoiWaddup** : Happy pride bby <3

 **LadOnTour:** HAPPY GAY DAY BITCHES

 **SayNoToThis:** <3 <3 <3 HAPPY PRIDE GAYS

 **GreekGod:** LETS ALL CELEBRATE..BUT NOT IN THE WAY LAF AND I JUST DID

 **NeverSatisfied:** wayyyyyyyheyyy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **LaffOutLoud:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) unless you want to ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **AndPEGGY:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

_HAGAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.gif_

 

 **WatchYouBurn:** Alexander, john, take a leaf from Laf and Herc….in other terms: guys get back in this bedroom and celebrate pride with me properly ;)

 **WriteMyWayOut:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** ON MY WAY ;)

 **WatchYouBurn:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) brb guys

 **WashingDone:** SIN. I SEE CHILDREN SINNING.

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** Trust me Gwash..my man. You wouldn’t want to SEE us sinning

 **LaffOutLoud:** HOWLING

 **NeverSatisfied:** YODELLING

 **WashingDone:** …..jesus Christ

 **WriteMyWayOut:** oooh that’s exactly what Eliza and John say ;) #IfYouGetMe

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** ;) ;)

 **SayNoToThis:** How do you know he wouldn’t want to see…ya can’t be sure what people are into these days ;)

 **AndPEGGY:** ^^

 **GreekGod:** SCREAMING

 **LadOnTour:** OH MY GOD MARIA

 **WashingDone:** I have done nothing to deserve this??

 **LaffOutLoud:** Personally I wouldn’t mind if you watched ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **GreekGod:** me either ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **AndPEGGY:** YOU GUYS.

OH MY GOD

ULTIMATE OT3

I DUBB THIS SHIP WASHERCAFF

Okay so I’m not too great at ship names

 **WriteMyWayOut:** …..Laferton

 **AndPEGGY:** YES HAMSQUARED

 **SayNoToThis:** #Laferton is my OT3 RT if you agree

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** RT

 **NeverSatisfied:** RT

 **LadOnTour:** RT RT RT

 **WriteMyWayOut:** FAVE

 **WatchYouBurn:** RT

 **GreekGod:** RT

 **LaffOutLoud:** RT,

REBLOG,

SHARE,

FAVE.

 **AndPEGGY:** RT

 **WashingDone:** ……….I’d have to be drunk

 **LadOnTour:** DRINKS ON ME FOR PRIDE

 **LaffOutLoud:** you do me a great service Georgie  <3

 **GreekGod:** as great as Britain itself

 **WriteMyWayOut:** let’s go drinking.

 **NeverSatisfied:** Lez go (haha gettit?) celebrate prideeeee

 **AndPEGGY:** MARAGRITA TIME BABBY

 **SayNoToThis:** ^^

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** You guys don’t wait up

We are celebrating #IfYouGetMe

 **WatchYouBurn:** go on without us ;)

 **WriteMyWayOut:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) we may be a while ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Bi ;)

 **WashingDone:** That’s Sin.

Such Sin

SINNER

YOU’RE SO GAY

 **SayNoToThis:** Says you ;)

 **WashingDone:** Just remember Maria we can #Expose you

 **SayNoToThis:** I’ll be good.

 **LaffOutLoud:** Daddy discipline _™_

 **GreekGod:** ^^ I’d let daddy discipline me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **LaffOutLoud:** Same ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **WashingDone:** SINNERS ;) **  
**

**TurtleBoiWaddup:** OH MY GOD

 **WriteMyWayOut:** GUYS ASKDHFGK STOP

 **AndPEGGY:** Wait…Expose Maria for what now?

 **SayNoToThis:** NOTHING.

 **WashingDone:** ooops sorry Maria ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **NeverSatisfied:** YODELLING. GWASH THE HERO STRIKES AGAIN

 **AndPEGGY:** What’s going on????????

 **WashingDone:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ask Maria ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **SayNoToThis:** MOVING ON. DADDY DISCIPLINE AMMIRITE?

 **LadOnTour:** 11/10 recovery

 **WriteMyWayOut:** SIR. HERO. UR MINE. HAVE I TOLD YOU THAT YET?

 **LaffOutLoud:** #ExposeMaria RT if you agree

 **WatchYouBurn:** RT

 **NeverSatisfied:** RT ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **GreekGod:** RT

 **WashingDone:** RT and Fave

 **WriteMyWayOut:** ^^

 **SayNoToThis:** NO. DELETE TWEET. DELETE SOCIAL MEDIA. DELETE THE WORLD.

 **LadOnTour:** RT RT RT

 **AndPEGGY:** RT? Maybe? Idk? What’s going on?

 **SayNoToThis:** PEGGY NO. NO RT. NOTHINGS GOING ON

 **LaffOutLoud:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

mmmmmWhyYouLying.gif

 

 **LadOnTour:** JFC YES #EXPOSE THE BIG GAY

 **SayNoToThis:** #ExposeBABYGAYTE

 **AndPEGGY:** WHAT IS GOING ON???? **  
**

**NeverSatisfied:** In other news, I'm at the pride parade we're just finished and heading to the main event

where are you guys?

 **GreekGod:** We're all sat in by the main gate entrance

Gwash dropped us off <3

all of us apart from Alex, Eliza and John. 3 guesses to where they are instead

 **WatchYouBurn:** ;) ;) ;)

 **WriteMyWayOut:** ;)

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** ;) Enjoy pride without us guys..we'll drop by later.

 

 

 

 **SayNoToThis:** YOU GUYS OT3 HAS SET SAIL

ALL IT NEEDED WAS LIKE 4 LONG ISLANDS

 **WatchYouBurn:** PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN

 **AndPEGGY:** ASK AND U SHALL RECEIVE CHILDREN

 

LafertonTheOT3.jpeg

 

ElizaYouOweMe30Bucks.jpeg

 

CanWeStillCallHimDaddy.jpeg

 

 **WatchYouBurn:** OH MY GOD

 **WriteMyWayOut:** WHY DID I MISS PRIDE WTF THE FUCK

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** ARE YOU STILL SAT IN THE EVENT GROUNDS?

WE’RE ON OUR WAY

 **AndPEGGY:** Also guys, since you weren’t here I need to tell you guys something

Its important

Like <3 to the others for their support

 **SayNoToThis:** Pegleg hun  <3 it’s okay you got this

 **NeverSatisfied:** <3 <3 my fave sibling always

 **AndPEGGY:** If u hold my hand?

 **SayNoToThis:** deal.

 **LadOnTour:** look at them hold hands and be gay. OTP GOALS.

 

MeggyOrParia.jpeg

 

 **LaffOutLoud:** SMOHER THAN UHH

HW U SAYYU???

SILKS.

SMOOTHERZ THASN SILKS

 **GreekGod:** SUHT UPS ANDS KISSA US

 **WashingDone:** ^^

 **SayNoToThis:** lightweights ^

 **AndPEGGY:** U GUYS SHH I'M TRYING TO COME OUT PROPERLY HERE

 **WriteMyWayOut:** Pegster we’re 3mins away if u wanna do it in person?

 **AndPEGGY:** Pls

 **WatchYouBurn:** whatever it is we love youuuuuuuu

 

 

 **AndPEGGY:** so uhh....yeah I guess u gays know now. Non-Binary.

They/Them pronouns pls?

That was a lot less dramatic than in my head

 **WatchYouBurn:** PROUD OF MY SIBLING

 **TurtleBoiWaddup:** still Alpha Gay or Alpha Bi? though right?

Alpha Person

 **AndPEGGY:** Alpha Gay…Always ;)

 **LadOnTour:** Alpha Gay™

 **WriteMyWayOut:** Pegleg best of people always

 **AndPEGGY:** I love you guys

gays.

i love you gays

now lets get more drinks <3

 **SayNoToThis:** ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cardiff Pride was amazing and well, things had to get gayer in this fic anyway. Also yeah Peggy is based on me, and yep I’m Bisexual and gender neutral so that’s my reasoning. Fight me. sidenote: its a few days late but happy #BabyGayte day !? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 15th remember ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) you guys know what to do! *throws party with sugary treats and party hats* (Sorry 'George')  
> S/O to Dan for coming up with Herc/Laff/GWash ship name ;) <3 thanks for putting up with me when I text you at ungodly hours asking for advice  
> Next up: ‘Hooking Up Is Easy, Dating Is Harder’


End file.
